silence.

I've walked almost my entire life with my eyes open. I saw where I was going and knew who i was. but as of lately I'm in this period of my life that is causing me to feel like i'm wandering blind. I can feel my feet slipping from under me, their fleeting forward and faster still. And I woke today feeling cold, i'm lost in every sense. I don't know why i'm lost. I just can't even remember when or how, I lost myself. For love brings on so much feeling. This morning love made me sit in a hot bath, sobbing until i was weak. And in every sense, I'm in love with the thought of being in love. I don't understand but yesterday love made me feel the same intense happiness i had as a child. For yesterday afternoon mother laughed at me while wondering through the roses. She found it silly she says that I feel like I'm lost. "You're never lost while you have your family here to always pull you back in from the rushing waters." And deep down that's what I need, family. I love my family, their my pride and joy, my endless memories of my childhood and future. My mother has always been my wisdom, my comfort. And while roaming through the parks gardens I admired her strength she endured while growing up. This feeling of emptiness for love is false. I have to much love. Its drowning me everyday and I'm blind that my own eyes can't see it. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."-1 Corinthians 13:4