Everything is better with you 

- walks at sunsets / sunrises 

- morning coffee 

- tv marathons 

- breakfast 

- making snowmen 

- Christmas 

- baking cookies

- cuddling 

And I loved the wat you looked at me 

And I miss the way you made me feel 

When we were alone. 

Diary post #3 #2012

It was warm outside and so was the sky. It, it was a shade of my mothers favorite blue with a hint of pink in it. my eyes, my eyes watched the waves below cave in and out between each other, dancing beautifully along the boat. My hair, well it kept blewing across my face as I leaned over the edge. Trying to see my reflection. Then Feeling, feeling the salty air against my face. It whispering sweet words of yawnder. Sturred butterflies in my stomach. Made me feel anxious. Then so, I licked my lips and tasted the oceans salty wet kiss. And for awhile there, it made me think of him... of all people. 

My eyes locked on the horizon at this point.. and there it was, its liquid colors of gold and purple tones blended together so softly, a beautiful mess. these cydascop of colors I lost myself in. Thrown back in dim memories of those summer nights on 11th avenue. I remember the stage, brightly lite and so was his eyes. Swaying across the glowing haze of Augusts nights, he hummed sweet, sweet, oh sweet tunes to me. Pulling me in close against his chest, I lost my breath. He held me, like every girl dreams. He once was all and everything, the warmth I called home. It's true what the poets foretell... You'll never find the same love twice. 

The glitter of past lovers soon drifted off in the sea. Back to from shimmery thoughts. there I was still... now standing against the bars, head in hands, leaning over edge. He still, and somehow always will, stay a faint sunset in my daydreams. 

How long should it take for me to learn from my mistakes. - stop falling in love with boys with dreamy blue eyes and cute tilted grins, awkward shrugs and singer of love songs. 

Empty packs of cigarettes

By the side of the deck

Mugs in hand

full of the coffee made this morning

You look at me 

Both unable to speak 

Of what we felt that evening 

There may be questions in your head

As the new day is dawning  

But what things for us lie ahead?

I know every mark on your hand 

Perhaps you like me more 

If I was in a band

But you know crowds unsettle me

And you make it seem so easy 

I know there may be questions we yet

To unvail to each other 

But let's take this moment 

Cause we don't know how long 

This dawn will last 

 

Love, love, love, you know me better than most. Inspite of real distance, we'll always be close. 

Young love, i hope you are well. 

At least now we have a story to tell.

Been obsessed with having a bath almost twice a day now. Something about the warm water and steam feels so relaxing. I'm assuming I'm bathing more in my day due to exhaustion? I do have a lot on my plate now than I use too. And lifes been feeling a little overwhelming more than ever. I wish being an adult wasn't so hard. 

Love, love, love, I hope you are well. At least we both know we have a story to tell. Love, I feel you know me better than most. Inspite thevreal distance we'll always be close. 

Wait, oh wait, oh wait. See how the morning breaks. It's the simplest of love songs. But it's all our hearts can take. And tho we lose our stake... heaven is where we make it. Even in the smallest places. Can garden a grow. 

I will find refuge under his wings - psalms 91:4

Take me to the quiet place with earth underneath our backs, cradled in a forest glade. There we will point out the things we see and acknowledge these things we do not. In solitude we take in the wisdom offered in each other and take in the hum of the forest.

Love.

Being able to find someone you click with so naturally is the best feeling ever. You feel like you’ve been best friends you’re whole life, it feels like you’re coming home. You’re so comfortable with them. Maybe that’s what a soulmate is. Not someone who shares every single thing in common with you, but someone who feels like home.

teach ur daughters and sisters that it is okay to be alone, that the existence of a relationship does not make them whole. don’t shame your friends for wanting to be alone/being single relationships entered with these unhealthy mindsets will most likely be unhealthy and unfulfilling.

I am all yours, Lord. Your unshakable love has captured my heart. Never can separate me from a love so pure so true.

Busy days - means I won't think of you. And with my thoughts full of distractions of, new people, new job, new beginnings, venturous nights, blissful music and pretty views. My heart is calm. Then I see you. Your blue eyes, your sweet sweet blue eyes. Your soft voice and gentle heart. The way you cross your arms, tuck your hands in your jean pockets and Your dirty jean jacket. tiki room ballcap, the way you pull back your hair, the way you get nervous when we catch eyes, your smile when I say hello. It brings me back all over again. And I miss you more than I ever thought was... possible.

how I thought I moved on... But to be honest - I don't think I ever will.

And to be honest. I don't mind. What's wrong with knowing my heart was stolen from a gentleman like him? I'm blessed to have fallen for such a man. I was blessed to have the opportunity to love and to be loved in return. 

I miss him. Especially more so, when he smiles at me. 

There are all kinds of love in this world. But never the same love twice.

Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They’re shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they’re gone.    

He was a beauty memory (And still.) 

Do not give up on love - to love is to risk. Therefore, to love, is to be brave. It's better to cross the line and suffer the consequences. Than to just stare at that line for the rest of your life. I admit, I was afraid to love. Not just love, but to love him. For he was a stunning mystery. He carried things deep inside him that no one has yet to understand. And I, was afraid to fall, like the others. He was like the ocean and I was just a girl. Who loved the waves, but was completely terrified to swim. 

But I took a risk. And the ocean engolfed me. The waves carried me away. And sooner than I thought, through the beauty of it all, the ocean spit me back to the shore. Shaken and eyes filled with tears. I lost my heart in the ocean. But I don't regreat a single moment. I found that piece of magic poetics write of - love. I took a risk. My heart will heal. And soon I'll swim again. 

“We have the ability to choose … We can choose what will occupy our minds, and how we will act.” - Kathy Kalina 

Fun date idea: sitting under the stars talking about Jesus

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”

 Louise Erdrich

You will be shocked, kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever.

That’s why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it

You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge.

Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone — profusely. But don’t apologize for being who you are.

“Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease.” Lamentations 3:21-22

The axe forgets; the tree remembers.

"From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that’s it, that’s all I’m interested in." - Almost famous

We danced into
a spectrum
&
then dwindled
into ash.

One day it’s going to be 2:11am and you will realize that there really is going to be someone that you’ll love as much as you loved that one person who broke your heart, in fact you’ll love this new person in a way that will make you forget the baggage back home. Because you’ll have a new home to go to, a new heart to love and be loved by, and the world will suddenly look beautiful again. You will wonder how you ever thought that you could never love someone as much as you love this person who has called you their own. You’ll wonder why you spent so much time thinking about all the other heartbreaks, because now you’ll know how refreshing love can be, and how it was never meant to be a war zone, but rather a garden where beautiful things grow and produces lovely fruit.

One day, you will see how love can be a good thing, and your broken heart will be but only a shadow passing into the night, never to be seen again.

I always feel like I’m struggling to become someone else. Like I’m trying to find a new place, grab hold of a new life, a new personality. I guess it’s part of growing up; it’s also an attempt to reinvent myself. I do not think I’m easy to define. I have a wandering mind. And I’m not anything that you think I am. 

unwritten letters to you

I hope you find a love that seems as natural as breathing the purest mountain air, and I hope you have a love that is as refreshing as a summer rain. Don’t settle for the smog of lazy love, or the thirst of failed promises; you should have someone that is as consistent as the sun, and as warm and inviting as only that wonderful light can bring.

i want my children to grow up barefoot running through the woods. I want them to know the feeling of the trees growing around them, to recognize the gurgle of a stream before they see it, to know the taste of a blackberry from a bush long before the taste of a chip. I want my children to experience the earth we came from through touch, not pictures, and video games. And I want to be right there with them through all of it. I want them to experience all that our Father has created, for them. To grow up knowing the earth beneath their feet. And the blue sky above them. To understand just how beautiful the world outside your window can be. 

tonight i thought of you and my heart started to ache, but this time it wasn’t aching with the pain of missing you. my heart was aching with hope. like it was telling me that it’s okay now. that i don’t have to look back anymore because there is so much ahead.