sibs

ah my brothers. They pour so much heart and love into my life. We talked for hours today of our crazy ideas and summer plans. We ate homemade banana bread and drank coffee at the coziest cafe down town! I j'adore spending time with my brothers because I don't get that many chances to do so, so when I do I soak in every second. They're my best friends and I don't know what I do in this big old world with out them there by my side, protecting me, teasing me, and squeezing me in a sandwich hug. They may be older then me by five years, but the age distance doesn't bother me one bit! We're so close that we don't even notice. My brothers are my rock, my childhood memories. They're always there to give me advice and hold me under they're wings. I remember long ago when I was younger I was afraid to ride the log ride at the fair. But David told me to conquer my fears and be the kid at school who says I wasn't a chicken to ride it, haha. I'm so happy to have them and so blessed. Recently over Christmas break my brothers knew I was having a hard time so they took me out on the town with their lovely girlfriends. I was surrounded by my favorite people and couldn't be happier of how to spend a Wednesday night. They look out for me always. I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

look up into the sky love

'its a quarter past ten and he looked at me with wondering eyes. His face was gentle and his voice was soft. I touched his smile, he kept laughing as my fingers glided across as he stop my hand kissed my fingertips. He smiled and gave me that tilted grin. I adore. he laughed at me softly and leaned in to me as he placed his hand against my cheek and said "I am so blessed." I smiled at him and rubbed my nose against his, which we call 'Eskimo kisses' and soon enough it was cold up there. Wrapped his arms around my waist he pulled me in close to him. Leaning against his chest he pointed up into the sky, "look up" he told me, "Its amazing, how beautiful God's hands are." My eyes gazed across the night sky, and when looking up at J. I watched his eyes dazzle brightly into those big old stars. Glancing down at me he grinned and began to sing. "Look up look up into the sky love and see that big old moon shining right above us. It rolls around with a bunch of scientific stuff, I like to think it does just because he loves us." A sudden peace came over me. I held tightly to his hand, and smiled. I sat there thanking God for such a beautiful and kind hearted-man like J to be in my life.' - An entry from my moleskin journal. Dated: September 2011. All i know that the morning that i woke, i knew something now that I didn't before. and all i seen since 18 hours ago is, blue eyes, perfect smile, in the back of my mind, making me feel like i just want you to know. cause all I've known is that you said hello and i was stuck and that look in your eyes became home. and all i know is that you held the door, and since yesterday, everything has changed. And all i feel is that my stomach is butterflies, the beautiful kind that is making me feel like. that i wish you knew, but all i know is yesterday has changed. come back to and tell me why, cause I'm missing you, and tell me tonight that this is not all in my mind. I just want you to know that i wish that things were different. 

Rainer Maria Rilke

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.