A word is dead

When it is said 

Some say. 

I say it just 

Begins to live 

That day. 

I know we haven't spoken in awhile. But I'd like you to know that maybe one day we'll find our way. Maybe one day, we'll find a peace for all the harm we've caused. Maybe one day if we cress, I'll remember why I fell so deep into you and I'll remember how much the sun loved you, enough to follow you and forever leave me in darkness.

Those eyes have seen so many places. and that heart has felt so many things and yet, you still smile at the darkest feelings. And find expression in everything that coloured beautiful.

Psalm 51:10

Create in me. 

A pure heart, 

O God,

And renew a 

Steadfast spirit

Within me.

The universe and her

She buried her ears

Into the calm 

of his heartbeat,

And in a matter of seconds:

Fell terribly in love 

with the way

Her loneliness fell

Softy and suddenly,

Asleep, in his chest. 

I carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling) no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want no world (for handsome, you are my world, my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you. 

It's time to renew ourselves.

One day, whether you 

Are 14,

28 

Or 65

You will stumble upon 

Someone who will start 

A fire in you that cannot die.

However, the saddest,

Most awful truth you will

Ever come to find -

Is they are not always 

With whom we spend our lives.

When you meet someone who makes you feel the way music does. My theory is - you never let that someone go. Because once you find a bit of magic in this world. You must grasp it, seize it. The covcept itself is beautiful. How two minds can become infixed, with raw love and tender affection. For love is magical, and many people have fallen in love with the pure idea of being in love. So when you find love, that warm fuzzy feeling, that can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over- the-fence, World Series kind of stuff. You never let it go. Cause chances are, you may never find that kind of pure love again. 

There's always going to be certain people in your life you cannot forget, no matter how hard you try to erase memories, no matter how long it's been. Their face is forever thought of, remember while driving through those mountain sides, drinking your morning coffee, walks around the shoreline. That one person somehow left their fingerprint on you, changed you for the better - hopefully, or broke your heart into a million little pieces. And sometimes, You lay awake at night thinking of them. Wondering where they are now, if your face faded into another's. You're flooded with an ocean in your sheets and your mind can only escape to that first day. The leaves started falling, golden sunsets, and we started to kiss. And he said "my love is yours, beautiful." You know that moment well. So well, it's a painting hung up in your heart, endeared, thought of and loved. 

Spoken words like moonlight. Your the voice that I like.

I'm feeling caved in. Between the lights and shadows. Covered around smoke, it fogs my vision and drys my throat. No words can slip off my tounge. Even though I try, try and try again. With hands in front of my eyes, seeking refuge to clarity. Bracing for impact of uncertainty. I trust my feet to guide me, my heart to lead me. Through this shady yet clothed with beauty - a beautiful world. 

Raise your words 

Not your voice 

It is rain that 

Grows flowers 

Not thunder.

His hair was long 

My foot was light,

And his eyes were wild 

Like a river flows so

Surely to the sea darling 

So it goes some

Things are 

Meant to be  

When I meet someone who makes me feel the way music does

What if

All I am 

Is the broken lyrics 

of a broken song 

on a broken record

held gently 

in the broken hands 

of a broken man?

What if despite all that 

I was still 

the song 

that made you smile? 

And so,

For Whatever we lose (like a you or a me), it's always ourselves we find in the sea.

Oh.

You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. 

He looked at me across the room. He grinned softly, as his blue eyes felt like endless daggers to my melting heart.   The music was loud, people gathered through hallways and nooks. And all I could think about was him. 

It's been this way for months now. The uncertainty of it all. But somehow he always pull me back in. I decided in that moment I couldn't wait or take it much longer. I sat up from the floor and hugged the birthday girl goodbye. With smiling waves I gathered myself outside the front door. He found me there, before I could escape. Asking me why I was leaving, that I should stay. My heart felt weary, my eyes felt sore. It's 3:30am and all I could think about was my bed. Putting on my boots I ignored him, avoided looking at his face. I wouldn't be able to leave if I saw his eyes.... Then it happened. Damnit. Our eyes met, he smiled. "stay here, with me. We'll sleep till noon. We'll be able to talk with no destractions. I'll make you coffee in the morning. Take a chance with me." I paused. My heart dropped. He never been this forward before and I wanted it all. Everything he just said. But my heart pulled me back, I knew it wasn't appropriate to stay in his home. In his bed for goodness sakes! I wasn't his girlfriend, just an affection for attention. So until then, I keep a distance, to escape heart break. That I know far to well. 

Declining the offer, He smiled at me. "Alright, goodnight." Smiling back, we hugged goodbye. Then I scooted as fast as my bum could get to my car. Once I arrived home, my phone buzzed. He texted me? And I read "Goodnight. I think you Should drive back and stay. It be fun. But I know we'll see each other again soon." 

I just escaped the arms of every girls dream. Am I an idiot for saying no? 

May it be the Joureny on

To live far past the days ahead 

When light finally comes 

We'll rise to find our song

A promise lives within You 

My dear J, Say you'll remember me. Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe. Red lips and rosy cheeks. Say you'll see me again. Even if it's just in your wildest dreams... Wildest dreams.

I could show you incredible things

Your kiss, my cheek, I watched you leave. 

Your smile. My ghost. 

I fell to my knees.

When you're young.

you just run 

But you come back 

...To what you need 

Come back to me

I would wait for ever and ever. "Broke your heart, I'll put it back together." And thats how it works, that's how you get the girl. 

Remind her how it use to be. With pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks. Tell her how you lost your mind, leaving her. and that's how it works, that's how you get the girl. 

Remind me how it use to be.

Pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks.

This love was good.  

So in love

Time moved to fast, you play it back. Buttons on a coat, light hearted joke. no prove, not much, but you saw enough. Small talk, He drives, coffee at midnight. The light reflects the chain on your neck, he says look up and your shoulders brush, no prove, one touch, you felt enough. 

Cause You can hear it in the silence. You can feel it on the way home. You can see it with the lights out. You are in love, true love. 

You kiss on sidewalks, you fight and you talk. One night, strange look on his face, you pause, he says "you're my best friend" and you know, he's in love. 

//

Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really. Truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone who let's you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who let's you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone you want to be there with through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love and respects you. A love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep and dark. Also remember to Find someone who makes you laugh, like, really laugh. one of those really good deep belly laughs. joy in the relationship, is so important. You gotta make sure he/she knows how to have fun. Because life is short. It feels infinity. We feel it's going to last forever. But it doesn't... So while you're still here. make sure you have someone who can make you laugh, forget for a moment of the days responsibilities. And breathe. 

dream with the dreamers and invent things you never knew you had in you. think with the thinkers and discover ideas that mold who you are. smile at strangers and make friends that last a life time. travel with travelers and explore a life beyond your imagination. love only one and grow old with your best friend. let these things bring fire to your soul, so when you look back at your life, you'll have no regrets and you can leave this place a little better than when you found it.

all i really know

you've been running, running, runn-ing
and you fought it back to stay this time
if you're lonely, its okay to stay this time
just keep running, running, runn-ing
its all good, all good, for you
and you fill up all your days
if you're lonely, its okay
cause its all good, all good, all good for you

and oh, let this time get you down
get you down, getcha down.

I've been falling, falling, fall-ing
and you helped me understand, being lonely
when you're falling, falling, fall-ing
so keep on, keeping, keep-ing on
cause i have your back and you have mine

i dont want to break your heart

I don't wanna be that girl, who cant stay in one place
who cant make up her mind, who can not bare to face.
what she has left behind
and i just wanna go home, to think for awhile.
fine thoughts i put aside, fine thoughts i couldn't find, before.

i don't wanna break your heart
and oh though i fear that's where I'm heading,
yes I've done this once before.

well you taught me to drive in the city, and i taught you to hold your tongue.
and you've been thinking its all dandy. well I've been thinking its been far gone
and i know i am a risk for flying, running faster then i thought i could,
burning bridges that nobody would.
yes I've dine this before
oh I've done this once before.



well you taught me to drive in the city
and i taught you to hold your tongue.

a mermaid found a swimming lad, picked him for her own, pressed her body to his body, laughed; and plunging down. forgot in cruel happiness, that even lovers drown.

"love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. if you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. but in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. it will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. to love is to be vulnerable." - C.S. Lewis

kiss me darling, its been a long time.

seeing you, never has gotten me so nervous. its probably your blue eyes that are causing this and the way you walk with your hands tuck so tightly into your jean pockets. the way you raise your eyebrows when you don't know what to say or do. you always seem to shrug without thinking, drag your feet and speak so softly - that no one can hear. and i know time has passed, your heart has changed. now somehow these memories sing to me. its been few years since we've been and i wonder how you have changed. if you ever will recognized my face at all? my stampeding heart feels lost, like the compass you always were - in the thoughts of you that are. that you were my way home. there's no barely room for us. these years have crumbled me and i know its to late. your eyes have been my guide, they light my northern skies. and now you are miles away from me - even though you are right in front of me.

throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other. you could talk to this person for hours and never get bored, you could tell them things and they wont judge you. this person is your soul mate, your best friend. dont ever let them go.

somewhere

I know you are out there somewhere
and i know you are well
looking for an answer
but only time can tell

all things being equal i rather not forget
the people ive met
but something down inside me knows there's
something more
and i may not have any truth
but i feel it in my heart

woke up lost
a world i cannot escape
what I've become slowly takes shape
and i can never get enough, until i find you

cause i know you are out there
somewhere

we brought out summer in the night time

deep into the forest we get lost

whistle to the birds as they call

go on trips, move with the water as it shifts

we move to the sea as it drifts

how long will it drip

i'll follow you to the end of the world

and you know its true

because ive got you

to my faded truck

a shot of country to find our luck

and you sit inside and scream and shout

like a dagger in the heart

we rip it out

in the cold night we drive along the suns fireside

and through the night, the lights,  we listen to each others pain

day lines fade into coffee stains. which then smudge into sunset hazes
what a view from my sunlit window

on the way to another new home, looking out towards the streets
of guns and arrows
and different faces remind me of those i love, far form here.

Crystal waters in the blue bank
shinning far form what the eyes see
i try to swim far and far away
but my body sinks lightly above
i go away and hide into the sunlit stars
far from breaking those crystal hearts

the sun goes and shines across my bedroom wall
looking at the light i cant help but wonder
do you miss me at all?

school yard blues and dirty shoes
kicking around the yard
i leave it all behind
the day light fades quickly
and i cant help but wonder
do you ever think of me?

down by the hidden creek by the bend
the willow leaves fall down above our heads
all day we stay under the sun as it went down
a constant sea of horses
city valleys turn up the sound and bring it out again
the sea brings out the diamonds
and i look at you and cant help but wonder
will we ever meet again?

lover, it wasn't easy to pretend
even the day you left, i was just there as a friend
no i never dreamed i ever let you go
once this was the biggest place and now this is small too
why was i so scared of loving you?
i guess i can just confess i really needed you

Today is going to be great - tell yourself that everyday. small amounts of positivity can go a long ways in others and in your own self. for thoughtful wishing creates a healthy mind and heart. which then grow to healthy actions.

its all about that coffee

he had at the biggest grin on his face, as i poured hot water into the french press. my brother has two favorite things in life. 1) his beard and 2) his morning coffee. He begged me (mostly annoyed me) all morning to make him coffee. Finally i gave into his ways. He stood against the counter watching me steep the coffee as he played with the ends of his hair. grabbing our favorite mugs from the cabinet, we sat outside on the patio as i poured each of us a cup. He sat there beside me with content. a huge smile on his face. i laughed as i looked away sipping my coffee. we just sat there and didn't talk really. just soaked in the morning haze, the smell of the first few days of summer and the calm breeze against our hair. after a few minutes of quiet my brother looked over at me and paused. i looked back and saw the sweetest grin on his bearded face. he put his arm around my shoulders and said, "You're one awesome sister, you know that?" putting my head on his shoulder i replied "right back at ya, bro." with our coffee's in hand and the sun rising higher in the sky. I felt beyond blessed. I am one lucky sister, to have a brother like i do.

like you.

all i want is nothing more
to hear you knocking at my door
cause if i could see your face once more
i could die happy i am sure

when you said your last goodbye
i died a little bit inside
i lay in tears in bed all night
alone without you by my side

if you loved me why did you leave me
take my body, take my body
all i want is and all i need is
is to find somebody
i will find somebody

you brought out the best of me
a part of me i never seen
you took my soul and whipped it clean
our love was made for movie screens

but if you loved me, why did you leave me?
take my body, take my body
cause all i want is and all i need is
is to find somebody, i'll find somebody

like you.

(i miss you, j.)

today, was a pretty day
no disappointments, no expectations of your where-a-bouts
oh then i let you go

today i didn't even try to hide
i stay here and let them push to the side
you can't reach me cause I'm way behind you today

today was a pretty day
i didn't even look to find
to find a peace of mind
you can't touch me
cause you're behind me today

gimme gimme that love I've been waiting forrrreee YA! gimme that hand lets go dance

its just another night and I'm staring at the moon
saw a shooting star and thought of you
i sang a lullaby by the water side and knew
if you were here i sing to you
you are on he other side
as the skyline splits in two
miles away from seeing you
but i can see the stars

so open your eyes and see
the way of the horizons meet
and all of the lines will lead
into the night with me
and i know these scars will bleed
but both of our hearts may bleed
all of these stars will guid us home

i can hear your heart on the radio beat
they are playing chasing cars and i thought of us
back to the time you were lying next to me
i looked across and fell in love
so i took your hand
but through landing streets i knew
everything lead back to you
so can you see the stars?
from where I'm standing
cause all of my heart is beating for you

i can see the stars

your tee shirt

in the morning, when you wake up

i like to believe you are thinking of me

and when the sun comes through your window

i like to believe you are dreaming of me

i know cause I've spent half this morning

thinking of the tshirt you sleep in

i should know cause, I've spent the whole day

listening to your message I'm keeping

and never deleting 

when i saw you, everyone knew i,

like the effect you have on my eyes

but no one else knew the way of your words or

the effect you had on my mind

i should know cause i, can't stop thinking

of the way you left your lips on mine

in that october sunlight

all the words are mixed up in my head
trying hard to make some sense
and deep down you already know
cause all i have i am giving to you

its taken me awhile to tell you
exactly how i feel inside
the words seem so simple right now
but they took a lot to find

is this what you call love?
this is what I'm thinking of

because i knew, you would be alright
in my heart you would stay awhile with me
and we dance until the morning light
and you said to me
you said we'll be alright
and we'll be alright
yea we'll be alright

please don't tell me you have moved on
just give me once chance to explain
feelings are still here and growing
they move to me and I'm still learning

is this what you call love?
is this what you call love?
is this what you call love, love, love
because this is what, i am thinking of.

sit and hear the night
by the fire light
it reminds me I already have more then i should
i don't need anything
no one to know my name
at the end of the day
Lord i pray, i have a lot thats good

two arms around me, heaven to ground me
and a family that always calls me home
four wheels to get there
lots of love to share
and sweet, sweet, sweet songs
at the end of the day
Lord i pray, i have a lot thats good

sometimes I'm hard on me
when dreams don't come easy
i want to look back and say
i did all that i could

yea, at the end of the day
lord i pray, i have a lot thats good

Once upon a time as the children were sleeping, a spell was cast upon the lands. When we awoke from the night, this spell had us believe that only what we could see in the physical world was real.
Under this spell, a magical, deep, rich exciting way to experience life ended for all the children. For there is so much more to the world around us than what we can see with out ordinary eyes, hear with our ordinary ears, feel in our bodies beyond the sense of ordinary touch. and when we forgot this we forgot the magic of being alive.

As the veils between the seen and unseen worlds closed, children learned how to survive instead of how to thrive. they grew into suspicious adults who lost the ability to trust others as they forgot about the power of love. they learned how to manipulate others and to compete to get what they wanted. But now the spell is wearing off. the adults who were once children are waking up and remembering the ways of the hidden world. and as new children are born, they come in and help the rest of us remember.

The time has come to wake up from the trance. Wake up now!

im in heaven, on solid ground
it makes my world spin around and around
I'm inside now, I'm upside down
every time i fall in love

i lose my keys, i lose my cool
I'm breaking all my rules

I've been here, before
i'll be here again, i tell myself
theres no one else and then

I'm flying high with the birds and bees
but then they get the best of me
how come it feels like its meant to be
every time i fall in love

I'm afraid to go up onto the second floor
if you wanted to work it out, why did you lock the door?
i thought i was good at loving you
our light went out when you wanted it too
i wish you the best, I'm heading west
its all i know to do

i will fall, i will fall
if you come around
just when i think my heart break
has settle down

when you said goodbye it was forever
and i spent the last two years, piecing my life together
just when i think I let you go
you're singing right in front of me
and just like that it rushes back
every part of you

i will fall if you come around

Most days I wish I never met you because then I could sleep at night and I wouldn't have to walk around with the knowledge there was someone like you out there.

One day you’re going to see him holding hands with someone who took your chance. He won’t even notice you because he’s too busy laughing with the stupid jokes she makes. And it will burn your heart seeing that beautiful smile on his face and realizing that you’re not the reason anymore. And then it will finally hit you: it was him, it was always him.

I used to get excited
to see your name
show up on my phone
late at night,
while i was at work,
when i was in the shower.
I would rush and hurry
to respond to make sure
you didn't lose interest,
and that you would reply
just as fast as
dried off my legs
and failed to rub lotion on.
And then I realized,
I was doing the same with you.
I was rushing,
hurrying,
making sure that we took each
step
one after another
without taking a break,
to make sure
that you didn't lose interest,
like i knew you eventually would.
I wasn't right for you,
and I tried to avoid that fact,
because I loved you.
I made you a country
in my world,
something like
Germany
in World War II.
You dominated.
And I tried to ignore that
at the end of the day,
you had more to find out about
yourself.
You weren't certain.
Instead of me acknowledging that
and passing you on
to yourself,
I tried to aid in your growth.

I became naive enough,
to let you stunt mine.

Her heart sank into her shoes as she realized at last how much she wanted him. No matter what his past was, no matter what he had done. Which was not to say that she would ever let him know, but only that he moved her chemically more than anyone she had ever met, that all other men seemed pale beside him. — F. Scott Fitzgerald,

Monument

you lay a rose upon your fathers honor

and the wrong words are coming out

you've paved the road and watch the final hour

come around, you're coming round

you lay awake and count down the hours

in a room you waited for the world to come

and all around your balance stops the towers

to fall down, to fall down, all we loved

we find out, we find out

all we loved

It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but its harder to give up when you know its everything you want.

boys in movies are just so much better.

love is the most beautiful thing to have, hardest thing to earn and the most hurtful things to lose. When I love, i love hard. Nothing or no one can change the way I feel about that person. And it still amazes me how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces. Sometimes the person you love just doesn't understand how much you loved them. Even though I promised myself i wouldn't risk the chance of getting hurt again, for some reason, when I'm with you, it all seems worth it. if you truly love someone, then the only thing you want for them is to be happy... even if its not with you.

My dear friend told me this last night, "Stay strong. even when it feels like everything is falling apart. Go for someone who is only proud to have you, but will also take every risk to be with you. nobody is worth your tears. and the one who is wont make you cry." its painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go, but more painful to ask someone to stay when you know they want to leave. But God is great and his best is not something for us to fear; he not only knows what is best for us, he wants us to have his best as well. So when he miss you after he realize you're gone.. remember, he's the one who pushed you away. Nothing hurts more then realizing he meant everything to you and you meant nothing to him. So girls need to understand that its okay to be single. you don't need a guy to make you happy. you'll find that special someone eventually. 

If you ever fall in love, fall in love with someone who wants to know your favorite color and just how you like your coffee. fall in love with someone who loves the way you laugh and would do absolutely anything to hear it. fall in love with someone who puts their head on your chest to just to hear your heart beat. fall in love with someone who kisses you in public and is proud to show you off to anyone they know. fall in love with someone who makes you question why you were afraid to fall in love in the first place. fall in love with someone who would never ever want to hurt you. fall in love with someone who falls in love with your flaws and  thinks you're perfect just the way you are. fall in love with someone who thinks that you're the one they would love to wake up to each day.

and i will hold you tight, like the moon in the arms of the sky
and i will keep you warm, i'll build a fire

I'll build the fire, you fetch the water and I'll lay the table
and in our hearts we still pray for sons and daughters
and all those evenings out in the garden out by the railways,
in our quiet hours, we turn to you

and i will wrap my arms around your heart
and you'll be my strength when i had enough
and I will keep the light on, to call you back home

and for now we're still young, but still, we're just building our kingdom
but its all because
it leaves us wanting,
Lord you're everything.

and with tired eyes, he looked at me like the way 

he use too

last night my eyes couldn't help but catch 

his gaze

how my hands missed his and my heart missed

his love

laughter filled the space around us so

friends gathered, tea was shared along with songs

Music opened our door, to once was

i played a small tune, that i used too

he smiled, nodded back and sang harmonies 

with me

as my hands weakened to every lyric he sang

and with hopes of catching his heart once more

and he maybe just maybe

feel that feeling he once felt 

before

Absence makes the heart grow fonder… or forgetful.

and then he said to me, "Christina, one day your light will shine across these fields. For Tina my servant says the Lord. will serve me with a boldness of a lion." And so, these are the words that are forever etched into my memories. A day of when my father and I sat quietly on top of a hilltop, where we watched the deer grazes peacefully. I was just a kid then. And with all my heart I knew God's promises for me.

when we were lovers, I loved you with all my heart.

And as of turning twenty-three yesterday, my heart is full of inspiration! To push myself to my limits! To create better and greater pieces of work. To embark on more opportunities, to not let myself's comfort zone stop me, from experiencing - life.

My heart for 2014 is to create a community of warmth to surround me. To weed out the negative Nancy's and to surround myself with and only of people who want to see me grow. I am very tired of pleasing people. I've wasted a lot of my time and thoughts on individuals who didn't give a damn about me. I've made a lot of mistakes. But 2014 is my year of remaking myself. 

"May the wind under your wings bear you where the sun sails and the moon walks." - J.R.R Tolkien. 

It was only you and I or not at all.

Something of God... flows into us from the blue of the sky, the taste of honey, the delicious embrace of water, even from sleep itself.

Part of me wants to wear leather jackets and red lipstick and be super sexy and break boy's hearts. But then I also want to wear sundresses and be sweet, cute, shy and giggly and never break boy's hearts. But love him and be cute together. But then there's a different part of me. that wants to be beautiful, smart and mysterious. And another part of me just wants to sit in bed and watch netflicks while I eat yam fries.

I'm clearly indecisive.

You are an explorer.

your mission is to document and observe the world around you.
as if you've never seen it before. take notes. collect things you find
on your travels. document your findings. notice patterns. copy. trace.
focus on one thing at a time. record what you are drawn to.

my darling,
you can't see it. can you? how like the moon you are. both of you so timid in yourselves; hiding pieces from the world. Then, there are those rare moments when you both are full, and it becomes hard to look away. You are ever so handsome.

A letter to my future daughter.

Don't feel sad over someone who gave up on you, feel sorry for them because they gave up on someone who wouldn't have never given up on them. baby, inspire yourself before you inspire others. You can't teach love without knowing it. I know it's painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go, but more painful to ask someone to stay, when you know they want to leave. Love is the most beautiful thing to have. It's hardest thing to earn and the most hurtful thing to lose. Remember all endings are also beginnings. Find someone that makes you smile even when  there's no reason to. For love is more than hugs and kisses. Love is about trusting each other, and having faith in your relationship.Work hard, stay positive, and good things will happen my baby girl. The right man will make you feel like you are the only woman in the world. 

And remember this my darling; Never change who you are for anyone. 

“Dreams are only dreams until you wake up and make them real.” — It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzin

old love letter to an old lover.

"Make no mistake. I never stopped loving you, handsome. I just stopped expecting you to love me back. I have a million things I want to talk to you about. A million  things we have to talk about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning."

It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it  now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.

I want to be someone you can't just lose
interest in so easily.
someone you want to be around
someone you want to
experience.

"If you see me getting smaller, I'm leaving, don't be grieving, just gotta get away from here. If you see me getting smaller, don't worry, and no hurry, I've got the right to disappear." - Waylon Jennings

“The wait is long, my dream of you does not end.” - Nuala O'Faolain

I want to smile more.
I want to stop missing people
who don't miss me.
I want to l o v e myself instead of
searching for,
Someone who makes me feel.
Like I am worth it.

These things are not going
To happen but I'll try my best
These things aren't going
To happen until I let myself
Let go and let The
Lord take control

These are the things that
I cannot stop thinking about
These are the things that
my heart earns for
to not be afraid of the road
ahead of me
but to embrace it
to let go, to be fine
with being
alone

C.B.