Most days I wish I never met you because then I could sleep at night and I wouldn't have to walk around with the knowledge there was someone like you out there.

One day you’re going to see him holding hands with someone who took your chance. He won’t even notice you because he’s too busy laughing with the stupid jokes she makes. And it will burn your heart seeing that beautiful smile on his face and realizing that you’re not the reason anymore. And then it will finally hit you: it was him, it was always him.

I used to get excited
to see your name
show up on my phone
late at night,
while i was at work,
when i was in the shower.
I would rush and hurry
to respond to make sure
you didn't lose interest,
and that you would reply
just as fast as
dried off my legs
and failed to rub lotion on.
And then I realized,
I was doing the same with you.
I was rushing,
hurrying,
making sure that we took each
step
one after another
without taking a break,
to make sure
that you didn't lose interest,
like i knew you eventually would.
I wasn't right for you,
and I tried to avoid that fact,
because I loved you.
I made you a country
in my world,
something like
Germany
in World War II.
You dominated.
And I tried to ignore that
at the end of the day,
you had more to find out about
yourself.
You weren't certain.
Instead of me acknowledging that
and passing you on
to yourself,
I tried to aid in your growth.

I became naive enough,
to let you stunt mine.

Her heart sank into her shoes as she realized at last how much she wanted him. No matter what his past was, no matter what he had done. Which was not to say that she would ever let him know, but only that he moved her chemically more than anyone she had ever met, that all other men seemed pale beside him. — F. Scott Fitzgerald,

Monument

you lay a rose upon your fathers honor

and the wrong words are coming out

you've paved the road and watch the final hour

come around, you're coming round

you lay awake and count down the hours

in a room you waited for the world to come

and all around your balance stops the towers

to fall down, to fall down, all we loved

we find out, we find out

all we loved

It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but its harder to give up when you know its everything you want.

boys in movies are just so much better.

love is the most beautiful thing to have, hardest thing to earn and the most hurtful things to lose. When I love, i love hard. Nothing or no one can change the way I feel about that person. And it still amazes me how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces. Sometimes the person you love just doesn't understand how much you loved them. Even though I promised myself i wouldn't risk the chance of getting hurt again, for some reason, when I'm with you, it all seems worth it. if you truly love someone, then the only thing you want for them is to be happy... even if its not with you.

My dear friend told me this last night, "Stay strong. even when it feels like everything is falling apart. Go for someone who is only proud to have you, but will also take every risk to be with you. nobody is worth your tears. and the one who is wont make you cry." its painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go, but more painful to ask someone to stay when you know they want to leave. But God is great and his best is not something for us to fear; he not only knows what is best for us, he wants us to have his best as well. So when he miss you after he realize you're gone.. remember, he's the one who pushed you away. Nothing hurts more then realizing he meant everything to you and you meant nothing to him. So girls need to understand that its okay to be single. you don't need a guy to make you happy. you'll find that special someone eventually. 

If you ever fall in love, fall in love with someone who wants to know your favorite color and just how you like your coffee. fall in love with someone who loves the way you laugh and would do absolutely anything to hear it. fall in love with someone who puts their head on your chest to just to hear your heart beat. fall in love with someone who kisses you in public and is proud to show you off to anyone they know. fall in love with someone who makes you question why you were afraid to fall in love in the first place. fall in love with someone who would never ever want to hurt you. fall in love with someone who falls in love with your flaws and  thinks you're perfect just the way you are. fall in love with someone who thinks that you're the one they would love to wake up to each day.