one for me

i say what i mean. and i mean what i say.
what i am saying now, you are the one for me.
i met lots of boys and i've bought lots of coffee.
but you are the only one whose attention has caught me.

i'm falling for you Mr.
I'm falling for you Mr.

how did this happen? i didn't see it coming.
but now that it is, to it i am running.
I'm afraid of love, but I am willing.
with out you i am alone in this crowded city.
do you hear what i am saying, or should i say it even louder?
or would you rather i say it a bit softer?

love is a risk and life is one too.
and we're not meant to live alone, so im making room for you.
will you make some room for me? I can't see my life apart from yourself,
i want pictures of us on top of a shelf.

wise wisdom by a wise man.

Lord, whatever this day may bring—your name be praised.

I lied quietly in bed this morning. I lied there til noon. I didn't want to leave its warmth, it's safety, it's comforting touch, I didn't want to leave because I felt sad. I normally don't feel sad but this morning I was.

my morning beverage.

I am honestly so obsessed with coffee... I drink so much within a day, that I think I need to go on a fast from it. I have at least two cups in the morning and probably another two before 6pm. To some people out there my coffee in take seems so little compared to others. But to me. its a whole lotta caffeine baby!

twons

And so, does the destination matter? Or is it the path we take? I declare that no accomplishment has substance nearly as great as the road used to achieve it.

Lord Jesus, come yourself, and dwell with us, be human as we are, and overcome what overwhelms us.
-Bonhoeffer

We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that

people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. 

The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have,

 and that is our attitude.

iamaoldbeatuptruckreadytohitthoseopenroads

I want to take a road trip. This has got to be the worst case of wanderlust ever. I want to get out of here and head somewhere with no plan in mind, just me and some music. A big, old, run-down pickup truck-the kind that still plays mix-tapes, the authentic kind-that also plays cd's. I don't care where I go, but I want to get in this truck and go, just go-fast! So fast i can feel the breeze that walks hand in hand with all of the other cliches. I want to bring one big pad of paper and write everything down. And when I don't have paper (or I run out) I want to write on stones on scraps of receipts or hotel doodle-pads or even candy wrappers. I'll buy a bike and peddle down small town streets and sleep under mountain peeks. I want to go to music festivals and meet the locals of every town and visit landmarks-the most major interesting ones to the trivial and silly ones. I want to feel the ocean hug my legs, eat sea food! lobster, eel, and all those other seaweed creatures. I want to taste the best local coffee shops around! I want to Because yesterday I learned something and this truth made me realize how badly I ache to get out and go."Everybody has got to take a road trip at least once in their lives. Just you and some music."-Elizabeth-town 

woods

I've always had this weird fascination with forests. They made me think of my favorite movie, Peter Pan. And I remember this dream once as a kid, where I was running through a forest of these red woods. There were dozens and dozens of flowers laying upon the forests floor. It looked like magic. I felt so free, so beautiful, I felt like it was my little dream world, where I could do anything and be anything.

 I spun with my arms stretched out wide catching the gold haze falling from the sky. Its light shot through the leaves and touched my skin. Its warmth settled within me. I begun to run as the flower petals flew into the air and trailing behind me, catching the tips of my hair. I was searching for something in my dream, I don't know what I was that I searching for, but I think it was someone? someone calling my name. But I couldn't find him. I remember this dream so clearly. 

early bird

i saw the early bird, and thought of him
laying with open eyes, if he is careful
not to wake the one he loves the most

I saw the early bird, and couldn't help
but lately my open eyes, are too careful
to wake the one beside, and be still, as i think of he

I saw the early bird, and wondered why
my heart will never be, the one beside
his careful early eyes, as the morning lights the skies
does he ever lay any thoughts of me?

I saw the early bird, and i tried so hard
to move with my mustered seed, the mountains between
the desert and stream, so that even though he is careful
that i could be woken by his open eyes

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche

Many of us are slaves to our minds. Our own mind is our worst enemy. We try to focus, and our mind wanders off. We try to keep stress at bay, but anxiety keeps us awake at night. We try to be good to the people we love, but then we forget them and put ourselves first. And when we want to change our life, we dive into spiritual practice and expect quick results, only to lose focus after the honeymoon has worn off. We return to our state of bewilderment. We’re left feeling helpless and discouraged. It seems we all agree that training the body through exercise, diet, and relaxation is a good idea, but why don’t we think about training our minds? 

He’s not perfect, and neither am I. The two of us will never be perfect. But he can make me laugh; cause me to think twice, and will admit to making mistakes. So I’ll hold onto him, and give him all of my heart. Sure he probably doesn't think about me every moment, but he did give me a part of him that he knows I can break.
I won’t hurt him, or expect more than he can give. I won’t analyze him. I will smile when he makes me happy, tell him straight up when he makes me mad, and miss him terribly when we are apart. 
He may not be perfect, but he is perfect for me. 

Bloom

In the morning when I wake
And the sun is coming through,
Oh, boy fill my lungs with sweetness,
And you fill my head with you.


Shall I write it in a letter?
Shall I try to get it down?
Oh, you fill my head with pieces
Of a song I can't get out.


Can I take it to a morning
Where the fields are painted gold
And the trees are filled with memories
Of the feelings never told?


When the evening pulls the sun down,
And the day is almost through,
Oh, the whole world it is sleeping,
But my world is you.

my man wrote me a list

-You’re the foam to my london fog.
-You’re like a wolf sweater on a value village rack
-You’re like a space heater in a cold room
-You’re the lyrics to my songs
-You’re the strings to my guitar
-You’re my lip chap to my dry winter morning
-You’re like a full glass of eggnog
-You’re the cheese to my macaroni
-You’re a tshirt straight out of the dryer
-You’re the sprinkles on my donut
-You’re the cream to my coffee
-You’re the banana to my banana muffins
-You’re the sweet smell of rain on an early morning
-You’re the brain freeze to my Slurpee
-You’re the sunset to my evenings
-You’re a pair of oxfords on a hipster day
-You’re my radio when we sway
-You're like a warm sweater on a cold autumn day

Traipse

i couldn't sleep last night. cause my cat kept trying to sit on my face... and this morning, he sat on my toast. damn it!

givers to mes

where is my eggnog? My belly wont stop annoying me.

hipster town

My art professor says I'm a great young woman with a knowledge of how to dress. She goes on and adds that my style keeps reminding her of her teenage years, when she use to wear oversize wool sweaters with tights and oxford shoes. I hope that's a complement? Then within 10 seconds later a fellow student adds "Her style reminds me of those hipsters outside of Atlantis Coffee." Atlantis Coffee is a small coffee shop in the heart of downtown. All the 'hipsters' supposedly go there and mingle amongst themselves while they sip on their lattes and chat about the newest indie bands playing at The Exchange. My bro David says I'm one of those 'hipsters' how lovely.

avec vous

gah i love this look

Eggnog and rice pudding please.

Today marks one month being with my handsome J.

a bicycle for two.

lets go on a date
sway the night away
and drink some London fogs


lets dangle our feet
way up there
and sing some Christmas songs
Cause I don't know where else I rather be
then sitting close to you, on this fire escape for two


and when the stars sing harmony to the blue moon
you ask me to dance on that stage with you


and with every shooting star passing by
I'll whisper a little wish
cause all I want for Christmas 
is a bicycle for two
so I can ride these prairie roads
with you


(rough lyric sketch for what I'm beginning to create. Its in the works...)

Lucy Rose

I'm ever so grateful for the people that surround me in my life. They pour out so much soul and love on me. How could I ever repay them for all the good deeds and blessings that they have given me? Oh Lord my God, your love is so strong. Thank you for always bringing me back in from the tide when I fall lose from your arms.

silence.

I've walked almost my entire life with my eyes open. I saw where I was going and knew who i was. but as of lately I'm in this period of my life that is causing me to feel like i'm wandering blind. I can feel my feet slipping from under me, their fleeting forward and faster still. And I woke today feeling cold, i'm lost in every sense. I don't know why i'm lost. I just can't even remember when or how, I lost myself. For love brings on so much feeling. This morning love made me sit in a hot bath, sobbing until i was weak. And in every sense, I'm in love with the thought of being in love. I don't understand but yesterday love made me feel the same intense happiness i had as a child. For yesterday afternoon mother laughed at me while wondering through the roses. She found it silly she says that I feel like I'm lost. "You're never lost while you have your family here to always pull you back in from the rushing waters." And deep down that's what I need, family. I love my family, their my pride and joy, my endless memories of my childhood and future. My mother has always been my wisdom, my comfort. And while roaming through the parks gardens I admired her strength she endured while growing up. This feeling of emptiness for love is false. I have to much love. Its drowning me everyday and I'm blind that my own eyes can't see it. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."-1 Corinthians 13:4

Farther On

But the angels are older
They can see that the sun's setting fast
They look over my shoulder
At the vision of paradise contained in the light of the past
And they lay down behind me
To sleep beside the road till the morning has come
Where they know they will find me
With my maps and my faith in the distance
Moving farther on

enchanted forest

A week ago my bro, kels and I, stumbled across a Enchanted Forest 

on our way to Vancouver. I never felt so tiny before..

I was standing beside 240 ft trees. 

so i gather dust.
and i pray for rain.
in hopes that you might someday wash this
dust away from me.

bird feathers

sorrow found me when I was young
sorrow waited, sorrow won.

"You're going to have to work on your sarcasm, Christina." - my father

Hard2Love

I wish I were a little bird
perhaps a little bee
and i know i could fly fly far away
so you could never see me

cause its hard to love and not to be loved
hard for peace of mind
you've broken of so many boys
and now you're trying to break mine

I rather take that lonesome trail
cross these Belfast land
I turn my face to the setting sun
maybe you'll understand

That's its hard to love and not to be loved
hard for peace of mind
you've broken the heart of so many girls
and now you're trying to break mine

I rather sail that lonesome ship
that sails from shore to shore
if I were on board I would sail far far away
and never come back anymore

( http://zacharylucky.bandcamp.com/track/hard-to-love )

a band of horses

And take a little walk when the worst is to come
When I saw you looking like I never thought
And say you're at a loss or forgot that words can do more than harm

The town is gonna talk, but these people do not
See things through to the very minimal
But what's it gonna cost to be gone?
If we see you like I hoped we never would

When eyes can't look at you any other way,
Any other way, any other way
When eyes can't look at you any other way,
Any other way, any other way

So take it as a song or a lesson to learn
And sometime soon be better than you were
If you say you're gonna go, then be careful
And watch how you treat every living soul

My eyes can't look at you any other way,
Any other way, any other way
When eyes can't look at you any other way,
Any other way, any other way

my whispering mind is just wishing for time

 

But my darker days are my alibi
When my lonely heart, like the telephone line
Calls your name again
Through the clouds and the smoke
There will be a whisper, will you be my hope?

You opened my blind eyes

for I slept in my restless chains

Came here and saved me

I am alive because of grace

The #28 Rule of a Lady

If he leaves or gives up on you, remember, it's his loss, not yours. 

da blues

Tonight I've been spending my time laying my heart upon my guitar. Its late and I can feel my body slowly caving in. fatigued is coming onto me.  For my mind is spinning in all directions of endless thoughts. I tried to lay in bed and sleep at a reasonable time but my mind wouldn't let me. I can't stop thinking..


My Lord my God. Please give me the correct paths to choose, the correct doors to open. I'm afraid of the choices I'll make will do me harm. I need your wisdom to where I'm supposed to go. Show me the roads. 

Rule of a Lady

Rule of thumb: Never make a man a priority in your life if you are just an option in his.

4:20 in the evening

Chilling and drinking tea in the Lucyk's basement while listening to Madlin' Lucyk record her latest masterpieces.

ugh.

I'm just not going to share my 
   self-criticism with you 
                       if you're just going to            criticize me for criticizing 
          myself.

Matthew 7:7

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

J'aime lire

quiet boys who use

                  .pretty words

and sketch on the desk

and play piano or maybe

guitar and

brush my hand XXK with their

fingertips

I found a chubby kitty on the sidewalk today.... my heart is complete for the day! OH da cuteness!

Brontë

Tell me, if with wandering bands
I roam full far away,
Wilt thou to those distant lands
In spirit ever stray?

Wild, long, a trumpet sounds afar;
Bid me--bid me go
Where Seik and Briton meet in war,
On Indian Sutlej's flow.

Blood has dyed the Sutlej's waves
With scarlet stain, I know;
Indus' borders yawn with graves,
Yet, command me go!

Though rank and high the holocaust
Of nations steams to heaven,
Glad I'd join the death-doomed host,
Were but the mandate given.

Passion's strength should nerve my arm,
Its ardour stir my life,
Till human force to that dread charm
Should yield and sink in wild alarm,
Like trees to tempest-strife.

If, hot from war, I seek thy love,
Darest thou turn aside?
Darest thou then my fire reprove,
By scorn, and maddening pride?

No--my will shall yet control
Thy will, so high and free,
And love shall tame that haughty soul--
Yes--tenderest love for me.

BP

I said "If you know me at all you should know my hand size." You said "What do you think?" I said "I like iced coffee with bagels." You said "I think you're cute with short bangs" I said "Would you like me more if I shaved my head?" you said "I like bald girls." I said "that's gross. whats wrong with you?!"

happy we have met, happy may we part, happy may we meet again

I can't speak for you. I simply can't do anything about you and me. For I accept your decision in the matter, even though it confuses me so, I shouldn't let this carry me down. I respect you and because of that, I shall leave. I'm not very good at goodbyes, so I'll leave you with this-What will be will be.

first

Its been a couple of weeks so far. And I'm feeling rather satisfied with my decision.
This is a huge deal and I know it will take a lot to make this work out. But I know I'm ready for this... I think?
Guess we'll find out. For I'll try my best to make it out, with no scars. I only pray.

Among the Roses

And the roses die and bloom 
And I'm dreaming in my room
That you and I fell into the sky
And went dancing on the moon

And the comet will come
And swing 'round the sun
And you will be replaced
Until that day sometimes I will pray
That you may find some grace

I like to write lists

I love to write lists. 

What I love:
1. My Lord and savior.
2. road trips to banff every summer with the fam jam.
3. eating cheerios with bananas late at night.
4. playing guitar (self explanatory.)
5. talking to my dad over a cup of java
6. Walking in the rain barefoot

What I dream:
1. becoming the best guitar player. ever.
2. travel all of Europe.
3. Find a lad who loves God as much as I do.

What I achieved (recently):
1. Finally finished reading Jane Eyre!
2. Got the guts to quiet my job (Aldos is not the best place to work. Unless you have a great shoe obsession-then the 50% discount is worth it.)
3. finished a song I've been trying to finish for about a year.
4. I finished sewing a button on a shirt I've been trying to do for the past three months, ha.

Who I miss:
1. My dad


What I appreciate:
1.My family
2.my fingers, because they give me the ability to play guitar
3.water (I hate the taste. but it keeps me alive.)
4.My loving brothers


What I wish to happen one day:
1. kissing a lover in the rain
2. performing my songs live
3. dancing under the stars while a symphony plays
4. having tea with Taylor swift (shes the only country singer I like.)
5. meeting the Queen of England. 
6. swim in the Mediterranean Sea
7. ride a unicorn, ha! 


What I love to do:
1. Singing in the shower
2. talking gibberish to my cats
3. running in circles with David
4. playing guitar
5. snapping some killer photos. 


Goals in life:
1. Become an award winning musician
2. be a mother
3. being the best I can be in the kingdom of God

Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?

Evening Solace-Charlotte Bronte

THE human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;­
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed.
And days may pass in gay confusion,
And nights in rosy riot fly,
While, lost in Fame's or Wealth's illusion,
The memory of the Past may die.

But, there are hours of lonely musing,
Such as in evening silence come,
When, soft as birds their pinions closing,
The heart's best feelings gather home.
Then in our souls there seems to languish
A tender grief that is not woe;
And thoughts that once wrung groans of anguish,
Now cause but some mild tears to flow.

And feelings, once as strong as passions,
Float softly back­a faded dream;
Our own sharp griefs and wild sensations,
The tale of others' sufferings seem.
Oh ! when the heart is freshly bleeding,
How longs it for that time to be,
When, through the mist of years receding,
Its woes but live in reverie !

And it can dwell on moonlight glimmer,
On evening shade and loneliness;
And, while the sky grows dim and dimmer,
Feel no untold and strange distress­
Only a deeper impulse given
By lonely hour and darkened room,
To solemn thoughts that soar to heaven,
Seeking a life and world to come. 

SONNET #5

THOSE hours that with gentle work did frame The lovely gaze where every eye doth dwell Will play the tyrants to the very sameAnd that unfair which fairly doth excel; For never-resting time leads summer on To hideous winter and confounds him there,Sap checked with frost and lusty leaves quite gone, Beauty o'ersnowed and bareness everywhere. Then, were not summer's distillation leftA liquid prisoner pent in walls of glass, Beauty's effect with beauty were bereft,Nor it nor no remembrance what it was:But flowers distilled, though with winter meet,Leese but there snow; their substance still lives sweet.
 -William Shakespeare

Gothenburg 1969

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUW1SGF7bR8

the jar overly perfection of perfect pickles!

(take note: My brother David and I wrote this story based on a random adventure we had at the galaxy theater.... its terribly written but we had fun making it that way.) 

Today marks history. A jar full of yummy and overly perfection of perfect pickles were sneaked into the theater of the Galaxy cinema. The tale of the pickle jar jammers all began when a girl by the name 'Tina Bopper' decided to sneak this delicious treat into the forbidden. She didn't know the dangers of this journey she would endure, but her master 'Lavey' the great beards of beards told her that the world would be at risk if she didn't get this jar of overly perfection of perfect pickles to the children of the cinema land. Lavey spoke "Tina Bopper. I lay upon you a map that will guide you to your destination. You must save the last jar of  overly perfection of perfect pickles to the children of the Cinema Land before the darkness of the ticket watchers catch you and our worlds will blow up in a battle of extraordinary battles of explosions! The balance of this galaxy rest in your hands." Tina Bopper backs her travel bag with weapons to battle against her enemies that would tumble across her path. Weapon one is her trusty butter knife with a hint of butter on it to give it an extra slip when unwelcome travelers come. The weapon is to grease the enemies path before entering. Weapon two is her favorite jolly rancher wrapper that is a shield when thrown into the air. Weapon three is her cat Dusty. He's obsessiveness and extra rolls of fur will trample her enemies from stealing the jar overly perfection of perfect pickles! and now THE JOUNREY BEGINS! Tina Bopper runs through the forest of strings, as she climbs the mountains of castles to only be found by the evil ChangersChowers beards. His men surround Tina Bopper! She trapped! "Oh Tina Bopper, you really think I'm going to let you get past me with the overly perfection of perfect pickles? muahaha!" Tina Bopper digs in her bag and pulls out her Dusty cat! The fur ball runs forth and tramples through the circle and makes an opening for Tina Bopper to escape the clutches of the evil ChangersChowers. "Get back here Tina Bopper!" yells ChangersChowers. But its too late Tina Bopper escaped and is heading straight towards the Land of Cinema! she whistles as a huge owl fly s down to the ground and lifts her up into the air. Its her trusty pet Toot the Owl and hes flying her straight towards the Children of the Cinema! landing to the ground she runs past the ticket watchers and doges the canteen scanners from catching her with the  the jar overly perfection of perfect pickles. Opening the door to the forbidden she runs up the stairs of the forest of seats and finds the Land of the Cinema children and feeds them the  the jar overly perfection of perfect pickles. The children rejoice with laughter as the screen brightens up with song. The sky becomes bright as the trees become green again! The world is save! One jar of pickles at a time. The end.

Today is my 20th birthday.... I don't wanna be old.

past days

Socially awkward.

• You check your phone, because you have nothing to contribute to the conversation.
• Wait for the right time to say something, you get interrupted. Twice.
• Someone you vaguely know is walking in front of you. You maintain distance.
• Hold the door for some. They’re slightly too far away.
• Someone comes online, you say “hey”, they go offline.
• You go in for the high-five. Other person isn’t looking.
• Accidentally look someone in the eye. Pretend to look past them.
• You say something stupid. You play it down, but everyone sees your face going red.
• You say “hi” to someone. It comes out as a whisper.
• Your friends formed a circle while you were gone. You can’t fit and end up standing slightly askew.
• Waiting by yourself for friends. Pretend you’re texting.
• You tell a hilarious joke. Nobody laughs.
• You’re in class and you want to cough. Some other person just coughed, now you have to wait.
• Walk into the restrooms and the stalls are full; pretend you only came here to wash your hands then leave.
• The person in front is walking slightly slower than you are. You walk at an uncomfortable speed to get past them.

lets run away to Venice

I want to run away to Italy and never look back. I need my fix of perfectly breaded pizza's and landscapes and maybe scout out a few cute guys or two with Ashley. Hey, I can dream can't I?

Matthew 6:26

“Look at the birdas of the air; your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 

2011 already?

A lot has happen in the year of 2010, a lot of earnings of new friends, and new opportunities. I also changed a lot as a person I've noticed and also the people around me have said the same thing. Hope that's a good thing?

I spent my New Years eve with my family and enjoyed some of our favorite movies together, and ate all the popcorn our stomachs could handle. Couldn't have chosen the best group of people to enter the new year with. Love them to death.